Do you suspect the teenager next-door of flirting with Greenpeace?
Did the granny down the lane suggest the government focus on health care and education rather than oil pipelines?
Has someone on your block started riding their bike to work instead of using their gas-powered car?
Did you overhear someone at the local Starbucks talk about the need to take action against climate change?
Has your neighbour failed to attach an “I love Canadian oil and gas” sticker to the bumper of their truck?
These people could be agents of a dangerous foreign-funded campaign to land-lock Alberta’s oil and gas.
Be sober, be vigilant, and report them to the public inquiry into anti-Alberta energy campaigns at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Note: This post is satire, but the public inquiry into anti-Alberta energy campaigns is not. Along with the United Conservative Party’s mythical War Room and the proclamation of a law to “turn off the taps” to British Columbia, this public inquiry is an attempt to stir up regional political grievances and use the threat of foreign-funded boogeymen to scare critics of Alberta’s oil and gas industry into silence. The public inquiry will also be exempt from the transparency provisions of the Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act.