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Alberta Politics

Lady Whistledown: Alberta Erupts in Scandal!

MONDAY, JANUARY 4, 2021

It has come to the attention of this Author that a number of influential government officials and Members of the Legislative Assembly have brought scandal to the highest seat in the land.

Sir Jamie Huckabay, the loyal right hand of Lord Jason Thomas Kenney, the Premier of Alberta, left the province and sailed to Great Britain in contravention of government rules requesting the good people of Alberta to remain at home. 

If he had only kept his seat firmly planted in Alberta his scandal could have been avoided!

But alas, Sir Jamie was not alone. 

Whilst most of polite society cancelled their festive gatherings in light of the latest pandemic, a handful of government ministers and deputies absconded to the tropics!

Accompanied by a large host of valets carrying numerous valises, the deputies appeared eager to enjoy a reprieve from the frigid weather and dry atmosphere of the prairies in December.

And with the waterways yet to be frozen over, off they sailed!

Until today, Lady Tracy Allard of La Grande Prairie was the newest Minister of the Crown, debuting in great fashion last August. She was widely seen as an up and coming star in an overcast sky, but her decision to flee Alberta for the Hawaiian Islands has led to a quick end to her political career. She was summarily sacked amid large fanfare.

Lord Kenney and his associates are said to have been barraged with the sort of commentary from the public that cannot be printed in an honourable publication such as this.

It is said that even Lady Danbury, forced by circumstance to cancel her annual Solstice Ball, had penned a strongly worded letter to Lord Kenney’s principal secretary.

Lady Allard is back in town, along with Misters Jeremy Nixon, Pat Rehn, and Jason Stephan, and Lady Tanya Fir. Marquess Tany Yao remains unaccounted for.

The Marquess absconded from his seat at Fort McMurray-on-the-Clearwater and appears to be incommunicado with the outside world from his retreat on the Mexican coast, much to the chagrin of Lord Kenney in Edmonton.

But despite the cold’s tendency to turn one’s nose a rather unattractive shade of red, Lord Kenney’s colour was likened to a sheet of white as he defended the now former-Minister Allard on Friday last.

This Author cannot help but wonder whether Lord Kenney’s decision to sack the whole lot was too little and too late, or whether it will appease the masses clamoring for a sacrifice.

One can only wonder if this incident will compel Lord Kenney, who has suffered from a bout of unpopularity locally, to finally leave the provincial town and return to the comfort of the capital in Ottawa.

Or perhaps, he is content with the situation at hand? Not every politician desires popularity, after all.


To any readers who do not understand the references in this post, please watch Bridgerton on Netflix. Viewer discretion is advised.

4 replies on “Lady Whistledown: Alberta Erupts in Scandal!”

“…, to finally leave the provincial town and return to the comfort of the capital in Ottawa.”

At one point it was assumed that Jason Kenney was toiling in the provincial minor leagues before pursuing the prime ministership in the big leagues. I expect his performance here in Edmonton has ensured that that will never happen. The only way I can see him going back to Ottawa will be as an anonymous back bencher.

This is simply a schadenfraude moment for Alberta.

Kenney has been an absolute menace in our midst, ably supported by Harper. We still need to find out who else from the UCP absconded over the Christmas break. Travis Toews, anyone??? (He refuses to answer my requests. )

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