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Progressive Bloggers Coalition

ed stelmach takes over blogging coalition; future of coalition uncertain.

The story of the fledgling coalition of bumbling progressive bloggers has taken yet more dramatic turns. After a day of rallies Wednesday, the leader of the coalition, Dave Cournoyer was to address the nation to make his case for why his coalition is best suited to hold the best Progressive Blog prize in these troubled times; however, Mr. Cournoyer’s address never arrived. He sent a note to the networks saying “Super busy at work today, so I didn’t get a chance to record the vid, sorry, maybe tomorrow or the next day.” The video eventually surfaced (apparently filmed on a low quality webcam) but the networks were so furious that have vowed to give no further airtime to Mr. Cournoyer at all.

CTV News reporter Mike Duffy was livid, “The single most important test in leadership is delivering a video in high quality and on time. I don’t really care what you have to say, but there are no higher values than punctuality and cinematography skills in politics and these guys obviously just aren’t cut out for the job.”

A spokesperson for first place winner ‘we move to canada’ could hardly contain her glee, “If these guys can’t do v-blogging right they are clearly not worth the risk of being handed the prize of top progressive blogger.”

Though this was just the beginning of what will go down as one of the most surreal days in Canadian blogging. The morning after Mr. Cournoyer’s video SNAFU, he found himself locked out of his blog, Daveberta. To his dismay he discovered through a breaking news report in the Toronto Sun that Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach had bought the domain name for Daveberta’s blog and formally taken it over.

Premier Stelmach was defiant at the ensuing press conference, “Payback’s a bitch isn’t it Dave?” The comment was clearly in reference to the legal squabbles Premier Stelmach had with Mr. Cournoyer when Dave angered the Premier by purchasing the domain edstelmach.ca without his permission.

Despite Premier Stelmach’s apparent disdain for Mr. Cournoyer, he made it clear that as the new proud owner of the Daveberta blog (which the Premier promptly renamed Edberta) he was entitled to lead the coalition of progressive bloggers and would respect the terms of the deal signed by Mr. Cournoyer with Danielle Takacs (Galloping Around the Horseshoe) and Dan Arnold (Calgary Grit). However, Premier Stelmach did leave the door open for a compromise with ‘we move to canada’, “Coalition if…umm…necessary, but we need…umm…a coalition…some of the time…uhh…unless it’s needed,” said the Premier.

Mr. Stelmach’s coalition partners appeared unfazed by the change in the leadership of their coalition. “I could care less who leads the coalition as long as I get the 1st place progressive blog banner on my blog for a quarter of the year like I was promised in the accord,” said Ms. Takacs.

Mr. Arnold who has been critical of Premier Stelmach in the past seemed willing to accept him this time around, “Sure I’ve campaigned against him, but everyone I’ve ever supported has always ended up losing so what do I know about winning? It’s time I start doing the opposite of what my instincts tell me.”

The coalition’s efforts will now be bolstered by Preston Manning and Ralph Klein who will be launching a national tour to promote the coalition as the sort of democracy in action they’ve always championed. Even Prime Minister Stephen Harper has now come out in support, “We move to canada is playing the biggest political game of her life! Let me be very clear, if this coalition of bloggers is not allowed to take power, I think it’s time for Alberta to seriously consider building firewalls around itself and start running these awards under their own legitimate jurisdiction. There’s nothing more important in this country than blogging and mark my words, Westerners shall not take this lying down,” said the Prime Minister.

Though despite the new heavyweights lining up to support them, there were the first signs from the coalition leaders themselves that perhaps they won’t succeed in their ultimate goal, “We’ll see what happens, but the coalition has definitely made a positive impact. Before the coalition existed we move to canada was refusing to acknowledge my existence, and lo and behold within 24 hours of our accord she was saying I had an “excellent blog”. That kind of respect for Western Canada didn’t come easy and we have to make sure to hold we move to canada’s feet to the fire. But the ball is her court now, maybe we’ll get a miracle,” said Mr. Arnold.

The new tone in rhetoric may be due to the massive public opposition reflected in the latest polls. Even so, the coalition’s efforts to take power have been put on hold for several days as the Canadian Blog Awards (CBA) administration have been refusing to answer e-mails or take calls from any of the coalition members wishing to discuss this matter. The members of the CBA administration pronounced that a “time out” was needed and they expressed hope that the warring parties would sit down and resolve this matter on the weekend and if extremely unethical or borderline illegal (e.g., offering life insurance policies) deal making was required to end this once and for all, so be it. A final decision shall be made following the weekend, should it prove necessary, the Administration said.

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