Author: Dave Cournoyer

(Opening scene: two beautiful maiden’s bathing in pristine pools of Alberta crude)

Maiden #1: “ahh. To be an advertizing firm in oil-rich Alberta.”

Maiden #2: “Indeed.”

(End scene)

Watch out Paul. Stephen. Jack.

There’s a new political force to be reckoned with.

“The Art of Natural Family Planning: An Examination of Political Upheaval in Paradise.”

Stroff Waggardly

Columniste politique and professional pedant.

The political establishment rolled on with its customary inertia today, barely cognizant of the shifting political landscape. And how the landscape did shift, like the earth that moves in a slow slump annually. Today, a new party arose from foam and seashells off the coast of the Hadriantic Sea: not a party of love or of myth, but rather a party politic. Yea unto them who have grown a-weary of Hot Datum’s vegetable and vegetative tyranny. The members of the newly-constituted Voltaire’s Bastard Party established an executive, a charter, and a raison d’etre en retard. The political parties of convention occupy an ever-wavering position on the left-right political spectrum, but for these Voltacrats, that is passe compose – a tired relic of the political paleontological record. Instead, the Voltaire’s Bastard Party intends to occupy the realm of “the unstupid, rather than the unwashed.”

Read the rest here.

Lawyer, n. One skilled in the circumvention of the law.

Theories are always very thin and insubstantial, experience only is tangible.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.

To save time is to lengthen life.

Opportunity knocked. My doorman threw him out.

A full cup must be carried steadily.

well, we’re glad we don’t have to write an entire new post about this.

To see our opinion, click here, and replace ‘provincial’ with ‘federal,’ ‘$400’ with ‘$133,’ and ‘Ralph Klein’s Tories’ with ‘Paul Martin’s Liberals,’ etc, etc, etc…

Just in case any of you missed the news from last week, it turns out that Alberta’s glorious and beloved leader, Premier Ralph Klein, is planning on missing most of the upcoming session of the Alberta Legislature to continue his 2005 Lame-Duck Farwell Tour.

While Klein spent quite a bit of time traveling through the US, Europe, and Africa this summer, he’ll be continuing his tour in Ontario, Quebec, Nova Scotia and British Columbia when the Legislature is expected to resume for a 2-3 week fall session in November. Though we’re not quite sure what exactly the purpose of Glorious Leader’s trip is, we can bet that it’ll have something to do with the reason the Harper Conservative’s will lose the next election.

Though it’s no secret that our dearest Premier holds not much more than arrogant contempt for the role of the elected assembly, he must think that by divvying up $400 rebate cheques to every Albertan, he somehow doesn’t have to show up. Wow.

From drunkenly kicking homeless people to verbally attacking women MLA’s, to now skipping out on session, this Premier continues to give Albertans no shortage of reasons to be embarrassed about him.

But, if anything, it should be entertaining to watch the candidates for the 2006 Tory Leadership Race kick the bejesus out of each other in their scramble for the spotlight when Klein’s skip’s town this fall.

We went to the Margaret MacMillan lecture at the Myer Horowitz Theatre at the U of A yesterday evening. The lecture, which was titled “The Art of Peace,” was enjoyable and from what we understand was basically a recap of her Paris 1919 book (which we have yet to read).

But it was an entertaining history lesson none the less.

The pre-lecture period was particularly interesting. It included a number of introductions…. the first began with the introduction of U of A Provost & VP Academic Carl Amrhein by an academic whose name escapes us. In turn, Dr. Armhein introduced history Professor and past-Provost of the U of A, Dr. Doug Owram, who in turn introduced Dr. MacMillan (if we missed an introduction, we apologize, it was slightly overwhelming). The post-lecture period included a somewhat lengthy ‘donation pitch’ from a Professor Emeritus whose name escapes us. We aren’t quite sure on whose behalf he was soliciting, but after paying our tuition fees last week, we were quite happy that the lecture was free.

Interestingly enough, Dr. MacMillan, who is also the Vice-Chancellor and Provost at Trinity College at the University of Toronto has posted office hours: “available to all members of the Trinity community to discuss any subject they wish.” This left us wondering whether we would be able to get an appointment to meet with Dr. Armhein if we called his office at U-Hall. hmmm….

And by the way, only 43 more days until Walk the Line is released in theatres! Huzzah!

You speak eloquently and have seemingly read every
book ever published. You are a fountain of
endless (sometimes useless) knowledge, and
never fail to impress at a party.
What people love: You can answer almost any
question people ask, and have thus been
nicknamed Jeeves.
What people hate: You constantly correct their
grammar and insult their paperbacks.

What Kind of Elitist Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

(props to Toronto Tory for the quiz link)

This was forwarded to us by a very cool Daveberta reader. Thanks, Marianne! 🙂

Daveberta reader and EMBA student, Aarn Wennekers, has forwarded us an awesome survey that he has set up as part of his studies at Queen’s University (and just like Grandinite’s Great Canadian Blog Survey, Aarn’s survey is quite awesome).

Aarn’s online survey deals with the political question that’s at the forefront of every Albertns mind: Who’s going to replace Alberta PC Premier Ralph Klein when he eventually decides to step down (and follow John Hamm’s lead)?

Will it be former Treasurer Jim Dinning? Ted “Firewall” Morton? Minister of “Staying out of the Limelight” Ed Stelmach? Advanced Ed Minister Dave Hancock? Defeated Minister Mark Norris? Clay Aitken look-a-like Lyle Oberg?

Well, luckily for you, here’s a chance to have your opinion counted in an awesome survey!

Stop by and fill out the PC Party of Alberta Leadership Survey!

Aaron, of Grandinite fame, is trying to start a new blog meme.

The meme includes answering the following 10 questions and then tagging a couple other bloggers to answer the questions.

1. If money were no object, what would you be doing with your life?

Sleeping, volunteering, writing, reading, & traveling.

2. Money is just that – an object, so why aren’t you doing it?

Money – the object – pays our rent. If we could pay our rent and buy food with good thoughts, we’d be all over that like a fat kid on an Oreo.

3. What’s better: horses or cows?

Horses. Because they rock.

4. What do you think the secret to happiness is?

Humility and patience.

5. When was the last time you had a dream that you either remember well or did not want to awake from? Can you share a bit?

Something about being a pirate.

6. When you were a little kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?

A pirate or a fighter jet pilot.

7. Complete this statement: Love is . . .

…warm and fuzzy.

8. Can you tell a good story? (write one!)

Once upon a time there was this guy who wanted to start a blog-meme. His name was Aaron.

9. Can you remember your last daydream? What was it about?

It was in our Canadian Public Policy seminar. We were dreaming what we would do if we could change Alberta’s natural gas royalty scheme. Nerdlicious.

10. If you were to thank someone today, who would you thank?

Our family, for being so great (and tolerating us).

And so, we tag:

c-lo

interluctor

mark at section 15

socialist swine

steve smith

paul wells

You may not know it, but the race for the leadership of the Alberta Alliance is going on as we blog.

The right-wing Alberta Alliance, which was formed in 2003 and led by former Social Credit leader Randy Thorsteinson until March 2005, is in the midst of finding a new leader.

As many of you know, in 2004, the Alliance elected a massive one-MLA caucus and nearly matching the Alberta NDP‘s massive 1997 and 2001 caucuses by nearly electing a second MLA.
The elected being Mr. Paul Hinman in Cardston-Taber-Warner, and the near-elected being Mr. Dale Leuken in Dunvegan-Central Peace.

So far, the Alliance leadership race has drawn the gaze of three contenders:

Marilyn Burns

Website: www.geocities.com/marilynaburnsllb/

Slogan: A Brighter Future

Political BG: Ms. Burns is a lawyer who ran for the Alliance in the Stony Plain riding where received just under 2,000 votes. She’s the Alliance’s Justice Critic and that her son , Jeremy, also ran in the 2004 election (in Edmonton Strathcona).

Pet Policies: unknown (website didn’t say).

Conclusion: She’s an educated woman, which gives her an automatic +1 for running in the first place. -1 point for not having a website with content. So, she sits at 0 points until we find out more.

David Crutcher

Website: http://www.davidcrutcher.ca/

Slogan: New Alberta

Political BG: An engineer and businessman who ran for the Alliance in the Calgary Egmont riding in 2004 and gained a surprising 15% of the vote (the largest amount for any Alliance candidate in Calgary). His connections are strong with the Progressive Group for Independent Business and former Federal PC leadership candidate and Concerned Christians activist, Craig Chandler.

Pet Policies: Alberta Pension Plan, Alberta Police Force, Triple-E Senate, disband the Canadian Wheat Board, Charter Schools, anti-Child Pornography, no Same-Sex Marriage, Referendum, Recall, end of manditory Union membership, Elimination of Corporate Subsidies, Independent Ethics Commissioner.

Conclusion: Perenial right-wing platform issues. We agree with an Independent Ethics Commissioner. We can’t really name a politician that isn’t “anti-Child Pornography.” +1 point for the entertainment purpose of brining Craig Chandler on his team.

Mr. Paul Hinman
MLA Cardston-Taber-Warner

Website: http://www.paulhinman.ca/

Slogan: Moving Forward

Political BG: Hinman, the grandson of former Socred Provincial Treasurer Edgar Hinman, narrowly defeated two-term Tory MLA Broyce Jacobs. From what we recollect, during the last Legislative session, Hinman tended to concentrate his Question Period time on fighting icky gay marriage and mad cow disease.

Pet Policies: Lower Taxes, Smaller Government, Democratic Reform, use the “notwithstanding clause,” creation of an Alberta Constitution, put a fixed percentage of natural resource revenue into the Heritage Fund, no more Same-Sex Marriage, protect Alberta’s resources from Ottawa, referendum, recall, free votes, develop a tax structure that reflects family values, and the one we loved the most: “Protect families from unnecessary intrusions by the government.” Just give yourself a couple of seconds to think about that one.

Conclusion: Perenial right-wing platform. We’re not quite sure how a tax-system can “reflect family values.” We’re also not quite sure how he plans to “protect families from unnecessary intrusions by the government.” Maybe he’s running to be the leader of Krypton? -10 points from creapy picture. He’ll probably win because he’s already an MLA.

Thoughts?

Is the Alberta Alliance simply a blip on the radar of wacky right-wingness?

Many speculate that Tory leadership candidate, Ted Morton, may cross the floor to the Alliance if he loses the Tory leadership (and the Premiership in turn).

Is the Alliance the next NDP-of-the-right in Alberta?

Will the Alliance usurp the deep rural Alberta ridings from the Tories if the uber-urban leadership dauphin, Jim Dinning, becomes Premier? Will they split the right-wing vote with the Tories and allow Kevin Taft‘s Alberta Liberals a foothold in rural Alberta?

Your thoughts?

For those of you on the University of Alberta campus tomorrow, the Students’ Union is going to be starting its ‘The Question Is…’ speakers series.

Tomorrow’s question is… Sustainability.

The day will include:

• A bike workshop from the People’s Peddle and ECOS (in Quad from 12-4pm)
• A session on Forest Purchasing Policies by Christy Ferguson of Greenpeace (from 1-2 in Education 165)
• A session on Presicides and the Community Gardening with Franny Trawluk, and Meredith James of the Sierra Club (from 2-3 pm at Dewey’s)
• A session on Alberta’s Dangered Foothill Forests with Rebecca Reeves (from 3-4 in Education 164)
• A forum on Sustainable Transit with Clare Stock, Linsday Telfour of the Sierra Club, and NDP MLA David Eggen (from 3:30-5pm at Dewey’s)
• A lecture with Dr. David Schindler on Water Issues in Alberta from 5:30-7pm in Education 129.

So, stop by if you get the chance.

That’s right ladies, Mr. Peter Mackay, the currently single and last ever leader of the Progressive Conservative Party of Canada, turns the big four-O today.

Mr. Mackay, who is now the Member of Parliament for Central Nova, was first elected in the riding of Pictou-Antigonish-Guysborough in 1997 under the leadership of then Tory leader (and for the time-being Quebec Liberal Premier) Jean Charest.

He’s now lost the chance at beating Joe Clark’s record as the youngest Prime Minister in Canadian history.

In 1979, Mr. Clark was elected Prime Minister at the age of 39 (and actually turned 40 the next day).

Mr. Mackay, who is considered by many hacks and politicos to be a potential leadership candidate when Stephen Harper eventually steps down, may actually have a chance at taking the Tories over the top into a minority government (or so we here in daveberta think).

Hope you enjoyed the random title.

Surprisingly, the last couple of weeks have been unusually friendly to us. We just got back into the city tonight after a wonderful weekend in our rural Alberta homeland. The air is so much cleaner outside the city, it’s rejuvenating.

We also realized while having a cold pint on Friday evening at RATT, that we had spent 3 out of the 5 weeknights there…

Also, we met Reg Alcock last week. He seemed like a nice guy.

We leave you with…

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

(Props to nastyboy for the quiz link)